Sunday, June 28, 2015

The role of protector

In a recent conversation with a friend I attempted to explain what kind of protection I desire from a future companion. I do not desire protection from physical harm so much as I desire protection from spiritual harm. Guys tend to geek out over their machoness, which, ok that can be cool, though I don't have a 'type' of build that I necessarily prefer in a guy, or machoness level for that matter. That being said, it is always attractive when a guy respects himself enough to take care of himself. What I really desire, however, is protection from spiritual harm. The major spiritual threats that I have fought in my life thus far are (how to describe?????):
  • bitterness
  • anger
  • fear
  • pride
  • envy
  • lust
  • feeling like I deserve to be treated a certain way, or spoken to a certain way, in order to get along with someone (ie me-centered thinking), instead of just accepting people as they are, weaknesses and all, and choosing to focus on refining my own manner of speaking and/or treating and accepting others 
  • et al.
I could give specific examples, so many specific examples for each of these threats. I have shaped my life by the way I have responded to such spiritual threats. The unfortunate thing about spiritual threats is that they are sneaky. They don't appear to be threats right off the bat. Instead of fighting them off I have embraced them, so many of them! Only to get burned. wow. They are so sneaky. They seem perfectly logical, useful, and desirable. 

I am grateful for my experience with these threats because I really believe without my experience with them that I would not/could not know peace, not the kind of peace that I have control over, or shared control over, regardless of situation and/or influence. Maybe I am just slow, but my experience has been incredibly useful to me in helping me to better understand these threats as threats, and to respond accordingly. It's a big step to recognize the threat in the first place. Learning/choosing to effectively combat the threat is an entirely other matter. That takes time, experience, and prayerful contemplation. God is good to me in answering my prayers. There is a lot that He allows me to learn through experience though, and repeated experience, because, well, it's just a really good way to learn. 

I love what the apostle Paul said about the war between the spiritual and carnal in Romans 7, mostly because it hints to the sneakiness of the threats I briefly mentioned. He really understood them. I really believe that God's law is designed to help us recognize and combat such threats, rather than succumb to and embrace their influence as I have done on so many occasions.

"For I delight in the law of God after the inward man" said Paul, "but I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members."

"Oh wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death?"

"For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not."

Such is the story of my life :) Oh it is not so awful. Not at all. The threats are real though, and at least for me, they are so much more real and dangerous and lasting than any physical threat I have ever experienced. Because they are so sneaky I really desire a future companion to be aware of these threats in his own life and to have experience in successfully combatting them. I just think that such a man will be more able to support and protect himself, myself, and any future children that may come along.